The following is an excerpt from, “Throw off Pornography”, the 4th book in the “Lord of My Life” series. You can download the complete book for free through Amazon Kindle, Apple Books or Barnes & Noble. You can also order the paperback version through the Amazon bookstore. Find direct links for all of these at ktfproductions.com under the store tab. Visit every week and receive weekly excerpts January through April of 2024.
FINAL WORDS
Believe me, I know. Porn addiction is no joke. It is a habitual sin that easily ensnares and is difficult to escape. It is unassuming, devastating and affects much more than what is tangible. Though you can hide it for years from your friends and family, it slowly rots the soul and puts a wedge between us and God. It is a force like no other. If you decided to pick up this book, I don’t have to tell you how strong a hold it can have on someone and the devastation it can cause. There are several books and podcasts from highly respected doctors and authors who have varying opinions on solutions for freedom. But, if you are a follower of Christ, you have the best weapon to cut yourself free and you have the best incentive to remain free. The Holy Spirit is more powerful than any of us know this side of heaven. Many believers have either ignored that he exists or have put him in a box as if his power has limits. But in truth, if we allow him to do what he came to do, he can set us free from anything. Those who don’t know Jesus do not have that advantage. They have to rely on advice and willpower alone. We have something more. Much more! Do not minimize the power of the Holy Spirit in your journey towards freedom. He is not just a key ingredient towards success, he is the ultimate driver of our success. He is real and we have full access to him. Faith is essential. So, I encourage you to build your faith. Read the word of God. Learn about the Holy Spirit and his power. Ask him to do his work in your life. If we only recognize two parts of the trinity, we hamstring ourselves and remain ignorant of the fullness of God. Get to know him. Lean into him. Trust him. He is the source for ultimate victory.
Also, our hope for heaven is our ultimate incentive. Sure, there are earthly incentives that drive us toward freedom like family, friends, work, a healthy mind, etc. But those are all temporary. When we die and meet God face to face, we will have to give an account for our lives. We will want to hear those all-important words from him, “well done, my good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:21). While on earth, mature believers plan for eternity. We make every effort to store up treasures in heaven, not treasures on earth (Matthew 6:20). We play the long game where pleasing God is all that matters. Pleasing God is difficult to do while we are ensnared with habitual sin. So, for us, freedom is a prize that is highly sought after. It will not only improve life on earth, but it will help to lay the groundwork for an improved eternal life.
Becoming ensnared by pornography and masturbation presents an incredible struggle that for some of us has lasted most of our adult lives. I know, firsthand, how difficult it is to find freedom. I was first introduced to pornography when I was about 10 years old. My best friend’s father was addicted to it and my friend found his private stash. Back then, pornography only came in the form of magazines. He had boxes upon boxes of them. I wasn’t hooked initially. I was just curious. There was something about it that held my attention. Maybe it was the simple thrill of seeing something that I wasn’t supposed to see. Though it was intriguing it didn’t have its hooks in me at that point. I could still put it down without having it dominate my thoughts. But, over time, my curiosity grew. One day, my friend gave me a few magazines as a gift. That was a turning point. Almost immediately I began to experiment with masturbation. The day I chose to mix the deadly cocktail of pornography and masturbation was the day I fully opened the door for Satan to gain a foothold. Like a drug, curiosity turned into pleasure. Pleasure turned into an addiction. From that point on I would seek it out, I would hide it and I’d habitually use it. Over the years there were varying degrees of use, but it was always with me. I would always long for it. I invited it into my life and into my mind. Without knowing it, it began to rewire my brain. It began to wash my mind with thoughts and images that once seen couldn’t be unseen. I started building a mental collection of my favorite images that I could conjure at will, even without a magazine in my hand. Over time I wanted more, I wanted variety, and I wanted images that were more shocking than the last.
I was a believer in Jesus since I was a child. I remember singing in front of my church congregation when I was 5. It was my first solo, so it was hard to forget. I was taught about Jesus my entire life. My mother made sure we knew the Bible and that we valued a relationship with Jesus. Even though I didn’t fully understand what that meant my feet were placed on a solid foundation. I knew that I would never turn away from Jesus. I was in it for the long haul. But addiction to pornography and dedication to Jesus didn’t mix. Even at the beginning I knew pornography was wrong, but it took a while before I accepted it as sin. But there was no denying the truth. Embracing pornography is sin. As I grew in the faith, I accepted the truth. I had invited this force into my life. It had attached itself to my soul and had influenced every thought I had about the opposite sex and every dating relationship I had from then on. Months of use turned into years. Years turned into decades. Pornography became a common fixture in my life. It had become “normal”, a guilty pleasure. Over time, different ways of consuming pornography were available and using it became more anonymous. The more the technology advanced the easier it was to keep my sin life a secret. To make matters worse, over time, access to pornography would be free and immediately accessible. There was almost nothing standing in the way of giving pornography and masturbation full access to my soul virtually any time I felt the desire. Several times I’d try to distance myself from it but like a dog to vomit I’d always return. I rode the rollercoaster of sin and repentance more times than I can count. During particularly challenging church services I’d go up for the altar call and allow the elders to pray over me. I wanted to be free, but inevitably, I’d return to porn.
Pornography didn’t stop me from attempting to do the work of the Lord. While at college, God radically changed my heart. I rededicated my life and took several meaningful steps toward a life of spiritual purpose. I volunteered for service in church outreaches, I participated in and led several mission trips, I served on several church and non-profit boards, and I started a Christian non-profit video production company. In a relatively short period of time, I was lit on fire for Christ. It was the best opportunity for me to find freedom from pornography, but my efforts fell short. Many of my college friends were not believers. Their liberal influence coupled with my porn addiction made it difficult for me to break free. Time after time I took steps toward freedom. Some attempts were feeble and some more serious. But all eventually ended in failure. Almost 40 years struggling with the shame of habitual sin only to see the shackles still firmly in place was a devastating reality. I’d pray. I’d fast. I’d repent. I’d sin.
Then one day, it happened. There wasn’t a specific catalyst or pivotal moment that was taking place in my life when I decided that ultimate freedom was my goal. No voice from God, no hitting rock bottom, no life changing incident. Just one of my many attempts found a greater level of success. What made that attempt any different? As I reflect, I really think it was the prospect of the 90 Day Challenge. I’d never considered anything like it before. I thought freedom from pornography was always an all or nothing proposition, that if done correctly, the first day of separation from pornography was just as important as the 30th. Quitting “cold turkey” was always a must, but it didn’t take a psychologist to know that abstaining from pornography for one day is very different than abstaining for 30 (and in this case 90). Having a time frame made the attempt seem possible. Without a time frame, there was no “end”. And with pornography remaining such a formidable addiction, having a struggle with no end was nearly impossible to contemplate. With all my previous efforts, a part of me always knew I’d fail because I didn’t believe I could abstain from porn in perpetuity. But 90 days, though hard, seemed possible. From my past efforts I knew how important it was to press into God during the attempt. For me, it was incredibly naive to think I could succeed without any help from the Holy Spirit. On the contrary, I knew that his help was essential. So, I combined all that I’d learned from my past attempts with what I’d learned throughout my spiritual growth and dug my heels in. I was determined to make it to 90 days. At the end of 90 days, I’d take stock of what God had done. I’d evaluate how thorough he had washed my mind. I’d consider how well he’d rewired my brain. 90 days? I knew that if I really tried, I could do that. So, I did.
Today, my story is still being written. At the time of this writing, I’m still on the road to success. I long for the day when I have not only mastered my sin, but that I prefer obedience because I know that once that happens, the struggle will be over. I wholeheartedly believe that day will come. I know that any level of success I’ve achieved does not make me special. I don’t have an enhanced connection with the Holy Spirit. I don’t have a doctorate in Bible theology. And I’ve had enough failed attempts that would embarrass any believer. But I know what worked for me, and what is still working. And by the prompting of the Holy Spirit, I chose to write this book. It is my sincere hope that what I’ve written may help you in your journey. I know that the very process of writing it has helped me. For most of us, freedom from habitual sin is a long hard journey. It has its easy days and its challenging days, but unfortunately there is no room for mistake. The road to success is like a house of cards. One slip and all that you’ve worked for comes crashing down. In your journey, know that you are not alone. Even if, like me, you were too proud to let anyone know about your struggle, you are still not alone. The Holy Spirit is always with you and wants to see you succeed. He will help you along the way by giving you strength when you are weak and a way out when you feel trapped. Please, take advantage of his help and his presence. He is the key to success.
Along with the Holy Spirit, I am also here to help. Whatever stage of the journey towards freedom you find yourself in, I’d like to offer prayer, advice or encouragement should you want it. Just go to ktfproductions.com and click the “contact us” link at the bottom of the page and let me know what’s on your mind. I read every email and will respond if you leave your email address. Even if we’ve never met, it is my desire to see you free from the chains of pornography and masturbation. I can only imagine what God will do if every brother and sister of faith would find freedom in this area. When we are free, we can expect great things. As humans, we all know what it is like to live in this world, to be tempted and to sin. But it is God’s will that we throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. It is his will that we throw off pornography. (Hebrews chapter 12, verses 1 and 2)
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Throw off pornography and masturbation and allow God to show you the life you were meant to live.