Throw off Pornography (Part 12)

The following is an excerpt from, “Throw off Pornography”, the 4th book in the “Lord of My Life” series. You can download the complete book for free through Amazon Kindle, Apple Books or Barnes & Noble. You can also order the paperback version through the Amazon bookstore. Find direct links for all of these at ktfproductions.com under the store tab. Visit every week and receive weekly excerpts January through April of 2024.

MINIMIZING THE DEVIL’S FOOTHOLD

You may have heard it said of any addiction that admitting you have a problem is half the battle. But what if we never take that step? What if we are not willing to admit that pornography is a problem worth addressing? Satan can convince us that our struggle with porn “isn’t that bad” or that we can “learn to live with it”. He will try to make us feel comfortable in our trap. He may even try to convince us that we are dependent on our trap, so much so that we don’t want to leave it. That is power. It is a form of Stockholm syndrome which “describes the psychological condition of a victim who identifies with and empathizes with their captor or abuser and their goals.” Do you identify with Satan’s goals for you? Do you agree that pornography is too comfortable to leave, that you can live with it, or that you don’t really have a problem with it? As Paul warns in Ephesians, chapter 4, verse 27:

 do not give the devil a foothold.

When we opened the door to pornography, we let Satan in. We gave him a foothold in our life. Once he has you, he doesn’t want to let go. If we begin to agree with him that pornography is too comfortable to leave, we may never attempt to throw it off. We cannot fall for this trap. If you attempt the 90 Day Challenge and fail, do not give up. If you succeed at the 90 Day Challenge and later return to the vomit of pornography, do not give up on freedom. Being okay with the shackles of pornography is like a wild animal being okay with living in a cage. It isn’t the way life is supposed to be. It isn’t God’s plan for you. I believe that when we allow the shackles of pornography to remain, we will never fully reach the potential life that God has planned for us. God has a perfect plan for you and me. Don’t you want to know what that looks like? Don’t you want to live it? If you do, you cannot become comfortable in your trap. You cannot agree with, and identify with, Satan’s goals for you.

When Satan was able to sink his claws into me, I pictured a scene from a National Geographic documentary of when a predator catches its prey. The predator is relentless in its pursuit. And when it catches its prey, it immediately goes for the kill, draining the life out of its prey. Don’t think of Satan as your friend in this. He is relentless and doesn’t have your best interest at heart. Once he snares you, he wants to stay attached. He wants you to grow accustomed to him. Like a predator who catches his pray, he wants to drain the life out of you. Like a terminal disease, he wants to become a part of you. Like a tick or a leach, he wants to stay attached to you. He wants to feed off of you. If you have fallen into this trap, come to your senses. Allow the Holy Spirit to change your trajectory. Allow him to change the narrative. Allow him to remind you that you are his, that he owns you, that he bought you with a price. Remind yourself that as a child of God, Satan and his lies have no place in your heart.

JUSTIFYING SIN

Satan is the father of lies, and believe me, he is good at what he does. His lies can be incredibly convincing even if in our heart we know they aren’t true. If you let yourself listen to him, you may actually begin to justify your use of pornography. Sounds crazy right?! You may begin to make excuses for your sinful behavior! One popular justification of mine was, “If this is the worst of my sins, I’m not doing too bad”, forgetting that all sin carries equal weight when we use God’s scales. The wages of any sin is death. But if we listen to his lies, we forget, or dilute, the power of the truth. Another justification I’d use is, “pornography helps me cope with all of the lustful thoughts I have.” I begin to actually convince myself that pornography is a medicine for my lustful thoughts when in reality it is the fuel. In truth, there is no way to put a positive spin on sinful behavior. Even if some of what I convinced myself of was true, which it isn’t, the end never justifies the means. God does not want us to sin for a “good reason”. When we justify sin, we are, in effect, showing a lack of reverent fear or lack of respect for God. When we justify sin, we are disagreeing with God by saying sin is good. As it says in Psalms, chapter 36, verses 1 and 2:

I have a message from God in my heart concerning the sinfulness of the wicked: There is no fear of God before their eyes. In their own eyes they flatter themselves too much to detect or hate their sin.

God hates sin. We can never forget that he sent his son to die for our sins. What’s more, we have to remember that sin cannot exist in the presence of a Holy God. In fact, sin gets in the way of our relationship with God. It sabotages our relationship with him. It never helps. It only separates and destroys. When we justify our sin, we lessen the healthy reverent fear that we should have towards our Almighty God. We forget that he has the power to “destroy both soul and body in hell,” as it says in Matthew 10:28. We forget our place. Therefore, we should never fall into Satan’s trap by justifying our sin. There is never any justification for it. There is never a good reason to sin. If we truly begin to buy into that lie and think there is, then we are only proving we are not born of God. As 1 John, chapter 5, verses 18 and 19 says:

We know that anyone born of God does not continue to sin; the One who was born of God keeps them safe, and the evil one cannot harm them. We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one.

As children of God, we cannot desire to keep sinning. We cannot justify sin or make excuses for sin. Instead, we must desire freedom from sin. We must rely on our protector to keep us safe so that the devil cannot harm us. We need to decide who we serve. We need to plant our flag in the sand and say that for me and my heart I will serve the Lord!

MINIMIZING THE SPIRITUAL CONSEQUENCES

One final trap I want to highlight is how the enemy is able to get us to believe that the spiritual consequences of viewing pornography are negligible. It is easy to fall into this trap because pornography is such a private, “hidden” sin. We can convince ourselves that we are so good at hiding our sin that we can continue for years without consequence. In fact, we may be able to convince ourselves that we can go our entire lives without anyone ever finding out. But that way of thinking is a house of cards. For most of us, at some point light will reveal our dark deeds and our sin will be made known. Even if that doesn’t happen, as scripture proclaims, whatever we put into our heart will eventually come out in some way. Discerning Christians will be able to see through our mask. They will be able to judge by our fruit. Jesus said in Matthew, chapter 12, verse 33:

“Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit.” 

Even if you were to dodge both of these bullets and keep your pornography addiction hidden from your closest friends, the person you have become is a far cry from the person you could be. The influence of pornography affects your behavior, decision making, relationships, pattern of thinking and your dependence on something other than God. While trapped, you will never know what your life could be like without pornography. You will never know what God could do through you if you were free. Certainly, the worst consequence is that you’ll be found out, that your testimony will be ruined and that you’ll be proven a hypocrite. But even if that doesn’t happen no one leaves unscathed. You will be affected. I was affected. Though I had admitted my failure with pornography to some, I was never “outed”. I went up for prayer during altar calls, I prayed through prayer hotlines for freedom, and God was certainly aware of my acts but most everyone else didn’t know. I was enslaved by pornography for almost 40 years. So, if someone came to know me, they likely did so while I was under the influence of pornography. Though they may not have known about my habitual sin, my heart was inevitably affected. My relationship with God was affected. My relationship with my wife was affected. In truth, my life was affected. We can only hide so much. Our heart will reveal the truth. I’ve been caught lustfully staring at a pretty girl too long. I’ve been caught commenting about the beauty of other women in front of my wife. I’ve been caught looking at suggestive pictures too long. I’ve even been caught flirting, though I’d claim it was harmless. My heart was full of lust, pornographic images, and detestable desires. I did my best to hide it, but I know that some of it seeped through. I’d know what I shouldn’t say in public, but for some reason I had to say it anyway. I knew that I shouldn’t stare at pretty girls, but for some reason I couldn’t resist. What was in my heart eventually made it to the surface.

You may think you are really good at covering your tracks, hiding your sin, and masking what is truly in your heart, but chances are, you aren’t as good as you think. Satan has convinced you, as he has so many, that you can have your cake and eat it too. He has convinced you that you can indulge in pornography without any spiritual or relational consequences. But remember, there are three likely outcomes to your deceit; either you’ll be found out, some of what you are trying to hide will come out in some way, and/or you will not be the person you could’ve been in Christ if you had been free. Any of these scenarios are unacceptable for followers of Christ because if we claim to be a child of God, we should not desire to keep on sinning.

Throw off Pornography (Part 11)

The following is an excerpt from, “Throw off Pornography”, the 4th book in the “Lord of My Life” series. You can download the complete book for free through Amazon Kindle, Apple Books or Barnes & Noble. You can also order the paperback version through the Amazon bookstore. Find direct links for all of these at ktfproductions.com under the store tab. Visit every week and receive weekly excerpts January through April of 2024.

KNOW YOUR ENEMY

By now, I’m sure you have reflected on many of the ways you are vulnerable to the schemes of the devil and the tools he has used to tempt you to sin with pornography and masturbation. Though human beings are similar in that, “no temptation has overtaken [us] except what is common to mankind,” as mentioned earlier, each one of us are more susceptible to some schemes than others. Likewise, there are other cultural, societal, and external factors at play as well, some that are more effective in influencing some of us than others. There are subtle, and not so subtle, attacks inside and outside of the church that have skewed the moral compass of many believers and have added fuel to our ongoing battle with pornography among other sins. These attacks have weakened our resolve and have confused the once solid foundation of many.

I once heard that if you place a frog in a pot of boiling water it will jump out immediately because of the intense heat. However, if you place a frog in a pot of water and slowly bring it to a boil, the frog will not jump out, but will stay in the pot and eventually die due to the heat. Similarly, if some of the schemes the devil is currently employing were sprung on us decades ago, we would have immediately identified them for what they were and would have actively and assertively taken action to combat them. However, Satan has introduced subtle attacks that over time have seared our consciences and skewed our belief in biblical authority. It is vitally important that we wake up to the schemes of the devil in this area if we want to view pornography and masturbation the way God does. We need to make ourselves aware of how Satan has pulled the wool over our eyes and have subtly pushed many believers just slightly off course in a way that over time we find ourselves completely off the mark. Here are a few of his more successful tactics.

THE NORMALIZATION OF SIN

One of the greatest victories Satan has achieved over time in American society is the continual cultural shift towards the normalization of sin. It is one thing to convince unbelievers to accept and even celebrate sin, but it is quite a feat to sway the minds and hearts of those who follow Christ. The Bible warns us in James chapter 1, verses 21-25:

Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.

Is the word planted in you? Do you read the Bible but choose not to follow what it says? Many of us have forgotten what the Bible says. Some of us know what it says but have chosen not to agree with it. We have become “selective” followers of his word and have allowed society to redefine what we have been taught. The word of God has not changed. It is the same as it was when it was first penned. The heart of God has not changed, his holiness has not changed, and his commands have not changed. Jesus reminded us in Matthew, chapter 5, verse 18 and 19:

For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. Therefore anyone who sets aside one of the least of these commands and teaches others accordingly will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven.

Through Satan, society has diluted the words and the intent of the scriptures. As a result, many of us no longer view sin the way God does. In fact, many of us have redefined or have normalized sin. I challenge you to honestly assess how you view the following sins which society has normalized.

Homosexuality (Romans 1:26-27)

Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.

Divorce (Matthew 19:9)

I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

Fornication (Galatians 5:19-21 KJV):

Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

Adultery (Exodus 20:14)

You shall not commit adultery.

Coveting (Exodus 20:17)

“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”

Pornography (Matthew 5:28)

But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

These sins and more have become normal and accepted behavior in American society. Do you agree with the Bible that homosexuality, divorce, fornication, adultery, coveting and pornography are sin, or did you drink the cool aide Satan has offered that have caused many to believe these behaviors are okay? How often are these verses preached from the pulpit? How many believers have joined with the changing culture to affirm these activities are not sinful? How many television programs or movies have you seen where these sins are common… normal… accepted… celebrated? Have you fallen into the trap of accepting that viewing pornography is normal behavior? Is it as if you’ve looked at yourself in the mirror and when you’ve turned away have forgotten what you look like? To effectively battle pornography, we need to remember how God views it. We need to remember that it is sin, and as such, it is as bad as any other sin we can commit. James, chapter 2, verses 10 and 11 reminds us:

For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it. For he who said, “You shall not commit adultery,” also said, “You shall not murder.” If you do not commit adultery but do commit murder, you have become a lawbreaker.

Do not fall into the trap of normalizing pornography. If we do not view it the way God does, we will have deceived ourselves and may not feel the need to find freedom from it.

Throw off Pornography (Part 10)

The following is an excerpt from, “Throw off Pornography”, the 4th book in the “Lord of My Life” series. You can download the complete book for free through Amazon Kindle, Apple Books or Barnes & Noble. You can also order the paperback version through the Amazon bookstore. Find direct links for all of these at ktfproductions.com under the store tab. Visit every week and receive weekly excerpts January through April of 2024.

PLAN FOR SURPRISE ATTACKS

Sometimes we can see trouble coming. If we know our triggers, we should be able to avoid them, or at least plan for them. But what happens when we are ambushed? What happens when a trigger comes out of nowhere? How can we defend against a surprise attack? The moment you decided to free yourself from the shackles of pornography, the devil was put on high alert. I’m not sure how much stock you put in the power or influence of the devil, but regardless of whether you believe in it or not doesn’t change the truth. He doesn’t want you to succeed. He doesn’t want you to be free. Knowing this, we should expect curve balls. 90 days is a long time to keep our spiritual antenna active. But I encourage you to continue the pattern of prayer and engaging the Holy Spirit. Continue praying that he will help you to put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. Don’t just say the words, actively prepare your mind and your spirit for combat. Men and women of battle need to be prepared in war and peace time. It can be spiritually exhausting but remember to focus on one day at a time. Focus on each day as it comes and find victory for that day. Surprise attacks will come. It would do us well to count on it.

It might also be helpful to have an exit strategy should an ambush occur, or a back door, if you will. If there is a fire in a building, there is always an exit strategy. When the alarm sounds, there is a plan that we should follow. Leave immediately. Walk, do not run. Meet up at a specific location. Marching orders are predetermined just in case. Likewise, we may want to implement an exit strategy should the devil catch us off guard. The main problem with a surprise attack is that when we are tempted unexpectedly, our defenses are down and due to our sinful nature, in that moment our flesh doesn’t want to succeed. When we are vulnerable, we want to give in. Sometimes a good exit strategy is simply to call out to God in that moment, even if under our breath. By simply whispering, “God help me,” the Holy Spirit may provide a way out. He may also take full control and chase the devil, or the temptation, away. Remember, he has the power to intervene when we are outmatched and clearly out of our depth. One of my favorite verses reminds me of this. It is from 2 Corinthians, chapter 12, verses 9 and 10 which says:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

When we are weak, he can take control and through him, we are made strong. God knows we are mere humans. He knows that the spirit may be willing even if the flesh is weak. When you are ambushed, know that he is your strength.

QUID PRO QUO TRAP

Finally, I want to caution you. As you continue the journey of completing the 90 Day Challenge, please avoid falling into the “quid pro quo trap”. Just because you’ve decided to throw off pornography in an attempt to get your spiritual house in order doesn’t mean that God is obligated to give you a special blessing in return. He doesn’t owe you anything. Life problems that you had before the challenge may still be present. Bad things may still happen to you. If after successfully throwing off pornography your circumstances don’t turn in your favor, it isn’t God’s fault. He doesn’t owe you anything for your obedience. As believers in Christ abstaining from pornography and masturbation should be something we just do. I’m reminded of a parable that Jesus told in Luke, chapter 17, verses 7-10 which says:

“Suppose one of you has a servant plowing or looking after the sheep. Will he say to the servant when he comes in from the field, ‘Come along now and sit down to eat’? Won’t he rather say, ‘Prepare my supper, get yourself ready and wait on me while I eat and drink; after that you may eat and drink’? Will he thank the servant because he did what he was told to do? So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.’ ”

When we throw off pornography, we are not doing God a favor. We are only doing what we are supposed to do. We are only doing our duty. It is always God’s prerogative to bless us if he chooses, but far too often we expect to be rewarded for something we should just do. I admit that I’ve fallen into this trap myself. It is human nature to want to be rewarded for a positive change in behavior. However, if we are honest with ourselves, we wouldn’t be rewarded for good behavior, we would only be rewarded for finally beginning to live like we should’ve been living all along. If you were a bank robber and all the sudden came to your senses and decided to stop robbing banks, should you be rewarded? Of course not. That would be absurd. Likewise, do not expect a reward, or special blessing, at the end of this journey. The only “reward” we should expect are the benefits that come from being free from sin. Freedom from pornography certainly comes with its own set of benefits. But, by becoming free, we’ve only brought our spiritual walk up to a level where many believers who’ve never struggled with pornography have been their entire life.

I remember my freshman year in college. When I received my acceptance letter, I was incredibly happy. I looked forward to taking college-level classes like almost every other college freshman. But I hadn’t passed the English portion of the admittance test. As a result, I had to take an additional English class that those who passed didn’t have to take. I had to overcome this hurdle just to climb to the same level the others were just at. And now, you are finding yourself in a similar situation with porn addiction. You have to throw off pornography just to arrive at a place believers who have never had a porn addiction achieve as a default. So, don’t make the mistake of thinking that you deserve a reward for normalizing your behavior. Freedom from pornography and masturbation is its own reward.

Throw off Pornography (Part 9)

The following is an excerpt from, “Throw off Pornography”, the 4th book in the “Lord of My Life” series. You can download the complete book for free through Amazon Kindle, Apple Books or Barnes & Noble. You can also order the paperback version through the Amazon bookstore. Find direct links for all of these at ktfproductions.com under the store tab. Visit every week and receive weekly excerpts January through April of 2024.

ALONE TIMES

Another common trigger is simply finding ourselves alone with nothing to do. As the saying goes, “idle hands are the devil’s workshop.” When we are alone, we are more vulnerable because we have the time and the privacy to fully indulge in our sinful behavior. For porn addicts, being alone with nothing to do is a recipe for unabated sin. It is the incubator for our evil desires because being alone provides the perfect opportunity for us to operate in darkness. It makes it easy for us to convince ourselves that we can hide our sin or that we can get away with it. And if you have struggled with sin, you know that “getting away with it” is only an illusion. Remember the story of David and Bathsheba? 2 Samuel 11, verses 2-4a gives us a snapshot into how he was “dragged away by his own evil desire and enticed.” Then, “after desire was conceived, it gave birth to sin; and sin, when it was full-grown, gave birth to death.”

One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful, and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, “She is Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite.” Then David sent messengers to get her. She came to him, and he slept with her.

Even David, who wrote most of the Psalms, who was “a man after God’s heart”, and who was chosen to be king by God himself, allowed his thoughts to turn into sin. As a result, he committed rape, adultery and eventually, murder. If we want to be free of pornography, we have to take our triggers seriously. We must be able to identify the traps and avoid or combat them effectively.

For me, being alone was the ultimate trigger. When I was caught up in the sin of pornography and masturbation, I’d look forward to my alone times. I’d plan for them. Knowing that I was planning to sin, the convicting song, “Save A Prayer”, by Duran Duran would often invade my mind. In it he sings, “don’t say a prayer for me now, save it till the morning after.” Premeditated sin is the worst because we are guilty of knowingly, willfully committing sin. In Psalms, chapter 19, verse 13, David wrote:

Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me. Then I will be blameless, innocent of great transgression.

To throw off pornography we have to take a stand against willful sins. It has to become unacceptable. We have to take on a new mindset. Once I’d planned to fail. Now, I’d have to plan to succeed. Therefore, because we know that being alone is a trigger in and of itself, during the 90 Day Challenge we should make every effort to avoid it. If it cannot be avoided, we should prepare for it. We can pray for the Holy Spirit to remain active during our upcoming alone times. We can plan meaningful activities to keep our mind distracted. We can distance ourselves from the internet so that we do not have access to pornography. If you put your mind to it, I’m sure you can come up with defenses or distractions to help you during alone times. But it starts with the mentality of victory. We must train ourselves to desire freedom. And over time, the Holy Spirit may even help us to prefer it.

TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS

Another common trigger is to remain in a bad environment or a toxic relationship. Sexually charged environments or peers that practice or encourage bad behavior can keep us ensnared. It may not be their intent to cause us harm, but they may cause harm, nonetheless. Having friends that constantly talk about their sexual exploits could trip up your efforts. Being friends with sexually active couples who are unashamed of performing suggestive public displays of affection could cause you to fall. Having friends of the opposite sex who always dress provocatively can lead your mind into places it shouldn’t go. Knowingly putting yourself at risk by attending sexually active parties or watching risqué movies can kindle desires that you’ve been fighting to control. You may have to make the heartbreakingly difficult decision to distance yourself from friends who live out these scenarios. A recovering alcoholic shouldn’t go to a bar to make friends. A recovering gambling addict shouldn’t try to find a mate at the casinos. Likewise, if we are struggling with a sexual addiction, we shouldn’t surround ourselves with friends whose lifestyle causes us to struggle with pornography and masturbation. 

I once had a female friend who was very much into sexual deviancy. Though she was a good personal friend, simply being in her presence stirred sinful sexual desires within me. On many occasions she would even encourage these desires. I knew it was a toxic relationship because it was toxic to my spiritual wellbeing. It was as if there was a danger sign continually hanging above her head. My relationship with her added fuel to my pornography addiction. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to have it both ways. I couldn’t continue a relationship with her if I wanted to free myself from pornography. Paul reminded the Corinthians in 1 Corinthians, chapter 15, verse 33:

Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”

If we want to be free of pornography, we need to distance ourselves from temptation. Simply being around her had a negative effect on my spiritual wellbeing. If you find yourself involved in a toxic relationship, one that is hampering your spiritual growth or one that stirs your pornography addiction, you must distance yourself. I know. Relationships are hard to come by. But, at some point, we must come to the realization that we really can’t have it both ways. “Bad company corrupts good character.” It is like mixing yeast into dough. One will get absorbed by the other, and it is almost always the good being absorbed by the bad.

Throw off Pornography (Part 8)

The following is an excerpt from, “Throw off Pornography”, the 4th book in the “Lord of My Life” series. You can download the complete book for free through Amazon Kindle, Apple Books or Barnes & Noble. You can also order the paperback version through the Amazon bookstore. Find direct links for all of these at ktfproductions.com under the store tab. Visit every week and receive weekly excerpts January through April of 2024.

KNOW THYSELF

No one on earth knows you better than yourself. Your spouse, friend, parent, sibling or significant other may claim they do, but you and I both know that isn’t true. You know best what triggers your temptation. My guess is that most addicts have similar triggers, but some are more effective in causing one person to fall than another. Whatever areas of weakness you have I would caution you to never let your guard down. Never underestimate the power of your triggers. The key is to avoid temptation as much as humanly possible. Jesus knows the power of temptation. That is why he included in the Lord’s prayer (Matthew 6:13):

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.

Isn’t it interesting that Jesus pairs being tempted with the evil one? If you’ve been snared by pornography for any length of time, you know what could cause you to backslide again. Don’t give Satan any ammunition. He is waiting for you to give him just a crack so that he can put his foot in the door. Genesis, chapter 4, verse 7 reminds us:

If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.

Sin is crouching at your door. It desires to have you. Satan never relents, so we can’t afford to take a break. Take a few minutes to think about what triggers you most? Here are a few common ones.

SEXUALLY SUGGESTIVE SIGHTS, SOUNDS AND THOUGHTS

We may not be able to anticipate every sexually suggestive trigger that may come our way, but we can proactively defend against it. If you consistently pray that God will clothe you with the full armor of God every morning and if you remember to actively take up your cross every day and follow him, you should be mentally, emotionally, and spiritually prepared. With that kind of protection, the Holy Spirit may warn you or even steer you away from seeing or hearing a suggestive trigger. And if we find ourselves ambushed by a trigger, the Holy Spirit can provide a way out. He can give you the strength to avoid whatever is tempting you or at least the fortitude to endure it. Do not underestimate the power of the Holy Spirit in providing your protection. Ephesians promises that he will provide a way for you to successfully get through your moment of weakness. Hopefully, whatever solution he provides, we take it. The key is not to encourage or indulge in the temptation. We need to remind ourselves that what we are experiencing is a trap. When we are able to see things for what they are it is almost like putting a big red blinking sign above it that spells “danger”. Do not underestimate your triggers. And triggers that ambush us are the most dangerous.

If we are prepared, we may be able to successfully avoid seeing something that is triggering by simply closing our eyes or bouncing our eyes away from the temptation and focusing on something else. To avoid hearing something that is triggering we can put on headphones or walk away from the distraction. But what about our thoughts? How can we control our thought life? I have 3 suggestions.

1.      We can use the weapons that the Holy Spirit has given us.

2.      We can actively shut down sinful thoughts and take them captive.

3.      We can fill our mind with correct thinking.

First, how can we actively and practically use the weapons the Holy Spirit has given us? How can we literally fight something that is in our mind? 2 Corinthians, chapter 10, verses 3-4 says:

For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.

I’ve often heard that the struggle we face in controlling our thought life can be referred to as the “battlefield of the mind.” I don’t want to oversimplify how we are to win that battle, but I can say that we’ll have a much greater chance for success if we use the weapons the Holy Spirit has given us. What weapons you might ask? Remember the armor of God? We have the shield of faith, with which we can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. And we have the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. We have a defensive and an offensive weapon. Using them in tandem can deal a death blow to whatever is tempting us. Temptation alone won’t cause us to sin. But, remember James, chapter 1, verses 14 and 15:

…but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

The goal isn’t necessarily to not be tempted. That is impossible. The key is that after we are tempted not to let our evil desires take hold, because that puts us on a slippery slope to sin. We can stifle evil desires by using both the shield and the sword. The shield of faith can extinguish Satan’s lies and the sword can cut right through them. How does that work? Satan is the father of lies. He will use any number of tactics to get you to do that moral dance in your mind to justify, or to weigh the pros and cons of allowing yourself to give in to pornography. So, we need to use the sword and the shield to defend ourselves. But it takes faith to wield them. So, how do we obtain and grow our faith? Romans, chapter 10, verse 17 from the King James Version reminds us:

So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

We gain faith by knowing the Bible and allowing the Holy Spirit to remind us of the truth of the Bible when we hear lies. And we use the sword of the Spirit, or the word of God, when we speak what we know. When tempted in the desert for 40 days, Jesus spoke the word of God to strike back at the lies of the devil. The more we know, the stronger our shield and the more effective our sword. For me, one of my strongest triggers is when I am ambushed by any attractive woman who I know personally and am fond of, who is behaving in a way that stirs feelings of desire in me. When that happens, it would do me well to remind myself of Matthew, chapter 5, verse 28:

…I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

It also helps if I’m able to see the woman as God sees her. Genesis, chapter 1, verse 27 reminds me:

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

The woman I’m lusting over is an image bearer. She is not a sex object. Though I would not cross the line of physically have sex with her, if I let my mind go where it is being enticed, I will commit adultery with her in my mind. If that wasn’t bad enough, it can stir even deeper desires and cravings that can only be satiated by using pornography and masturbation. Now the battle is at a tipping point. However, if I’m able to use the weapons the Holy Spirit provided at the outset, I can extinguish the lie that it is okay for me to think about her in this way, and the lie that it is harmless to indulge in sexual fantasies because those fantasies will remain in my head and go no further. Mature believers know that it doesn’t stay in our head, it finds its way to the heart. And whatever the heart is full of eventually comes out as some form of sin. So, I encourage you to study the Bible. Allow the Holy Spirit to increase your faith. Knowing the truth of God’s word always has that effect. The more we know, the stronger our shield will be and the deeper our sword will cut.

Secondly, we can actively shut down sinful thoughts and take them captive. There is a subtle difference between this and simply using the sword and the shield, but in my opinion, there is a difference. It is a more aggressive use of the weapons. I believe, the more mature we are in our faith, the more viable this option is. 2 Corinthians, chapter 10, goes on to say in verse 5:

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.  

So, we can combat sinful thoughts by taking them captive and making them obedient to Christ. In other words, don’t let your thoughts control you, you control your thoughts! When a rogue thought enters your head that could ultimately lead to sin, stop it in its tracks immediately. If it is harmful, sinful, or in any way destructive, allow the Holy Spirit to flip the script on it, making it obedient to Christ. If we take a closer look at how Jesus responded to being tempted in the desert, we can see this subtle difference at work. In Matthew, chapter 4, verses 3-11 it says:

The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.” Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. “If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down. For it is written: “‘He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.’” Jesus answered him, “It is also written: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’” Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. “All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.” Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.’” Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him.

Did you see what happened in these verses? When Jesus faced one of his most vulnerable moments, he didn’t only use the shield to identify the falsehood in Satan’s words. He didn’t only use the sword of the Spirit to cut through those falsehoods by quoting scripture, but he chose scripture that took those words, or thoughts, Satan was tempting him with and turned them on their head. He took those thoughts captive and made them obedient to him. So, when he was tempted with bread after not eating for 40 days, he could have said something like, “I know what you are doing Satan, for it is written, ‘your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.’ Away from me!” But he chose to use the sword to take what Satan had tempted him with and to turn it on its head. He used it to remind himself that in truth, the bread that Satan is tempting him with is nothing when compared to the living bread. He trumped Satan’s temptation, and he did it three times. 

To further explain this subtle difference, let’s examine it in light of our struggle with pornography. Using the example of a woman I may be fond of, that if I allow my evil desires to entice me will lead me to sin or to entertain pornographic tendencies, instead of simply reminding myself that entertaining these thoughts are the same as committing adultery with her, I could tell my spirit, “This woman is God’s creation.” I could say that “God has a beautiful plan for her and I pray that God will perfect his plan in her,” and that “I will in no way hamper God’s plan for her, but will look upon her with godly love as a sister in Christ”. In this way I’m taking the sinful thought captive and making it obedient to Christ. I’m not just defending against it, I am transforming the thought from something potentially sinful and detestable into something holy and good. The truth is that God does have a plan for her. She is his beautiful creation. I should be a part of the solution and not part of the problem. I need to look at her the way God looks at her. By doing that, the thought doesn’t even have a chance of becoming an evil desire because the Holy Spirit will be able to bring me to my senses by changing the narrative. This method allows us to not only defend ourselves, but it encourages us to see women the way he wants us to see them, in the light of his perfect plan. I hope you can see that subtle difference. God is in the business of turning something bad into something good. He can cause your thoughts of lust to transform into thoughts of godly love. I’m not saying it is easy. You may have to continually remind yourself of this truth every time you encounter that person, but if we are prepared, it is certainly possible.

Finally, we can fill our mind with correct thinking. The perfect antidote to thinking about sinful things is to fill our mind with heavenly things. Paul reminded the Philippians in chapter 4, verse 8:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

If you are able to maintain a practice of daily prayer, I hope that during your prayer, you ask the Holy Spirit to fill your mind with holy thinking. Because if you are holy thinking, you’re not stinking thinking. I challenge you, even right now, to think of something that is true, something that is noble, something that is pure, holy, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy. It wouldn’t hurt to mentally build a catalog of things to think about. We may all have different lists, but we all have one. These are the kinds of thoughts we should fantasize about. These are the thoughts we should mull around in our head because thoughts like these are glorifying to God. Holiness is the enemy of sin. It will do us well to allow as much holy thinking to enter our mind as possible. And once there, to continue to think about them. Give glory to God for those thoughts. Allow him to use them as a purifying agent to wash your mind so that when a sinful thought tries to enter, it is foreign and unwelcome. 

Everything starts with what we see, hear, or think. If we invite temptation into our heart, we are on a slippery slope towards full blown sin. For porn addicts, hopefully, the furthest it will progress is at pornography. But for many, pornography and masturbation are just gateway sins that lead to something darker. It could lead to premarital sex, adultery, homosexuality, or sexual abuse. Sex can turn into something that God never intended for it to be. If left unchecked, it could spill over opening the door to other addictions like substance abuse and other forms of sinful and destructive behaviors. If you are struggling with sinful thoughts, and if you are reading this book I know you are, then I encourage you to overcome them now. Because this is where everything starts.