The following is an excerpt from, “Throw off Pornography”, the 4th book in the “Lord of My Life” series. You can download the complete book for free through Amazon Kindle, Apple Books or Barnes & Noble. You can also order the paperback version through the Amazon bookstore. Find direct links for all of these at ktfproductions.com under the store tab. Visit every week and receive weekly excerpts January through April of 2024.
THE NEW NORMAL
When I face struggles in life, one way I encourage myself is by focusing on my heavenly future. I think about what spending eternity in the presence of God will be like. I consider what freedom from pain, addiction, sorrow, and sin will feel like. I remind myself that this life is temporary, and this place is not my home. When I think of the end goal it helps me to walk through my current challenges more easily. Heaven is our ultimate goal, but freedom from pornography is our current goal. As we take each day one step at a time, and when we struggle with pornographic thoughts and triggers, it might be helpful to consider what life will be like once we are free. What do we have to look forward to? What will be the new normal? Earlier I mentioned the song by Switchfoot which was a source of inspiration for me. The verse is, “this is your life, are you who you want to be?” Consider the question. Who do you want to be? Who does God want you to be?
In life, when considering our future career, we are encouraged to “dress for success”. We are encouraged to begin the work of physical and psychological transformation before we reach the success we are hoping for. The idea is that if we look successful on the outside, we will more easily convince ourselves and others of the person we want to be - the person we hope to be. What does it look like to dress for success spiritually speaking? Consider your porn free future. Where do you want to be, spiritually speaking, in 5 years? What will your new story be? What will the next chapter of your life look like? I encourage you to think about it. It may even help to make a list. Here are some ideas…
1. There will no longer be anything hindering your relationship with God
When you are free of porn addiction, it will no longer be a constant habitual sin hanging over your head. It will no longer be a constant wedge that separates you from a perfect relationship with God. You can approach the throne with confidence holding your head high instead of down in defeat. You will finally be in right relationship with God. Your walk will be stronger because of your obedience. Your spiritual antenna will be more attuned to the Spirit. Your worship will be more powerful and true. Your prayer life will be more effective as evidenced in James, chapter 5, the second part of verse16 which says:
The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
You will know that your behavior is pleasing to the Father because you are no longer willfully sinning. You can fully be about the business of the Lord. A strong and consistent relationship with God is what every believer desires. The barrier that has held you back from that will finally be removed. Not even the sky will be the limit.
2. You will no longer be a hypocrite
When you are free, you will no longer have to hide your sin. You’ll no longer have the “do as I say, not as I do”, attitude sabotaging your Christian relationships. You will be free to concentrate on helping others without the guilt of secretly struggling with your own sin. Jesus said it best in Matthew, chapter 7, verses 4 and 5:
How can you say to your brother, "Let me take the speck out of your eye,” when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
You will have dealt with the plank in your eye. You will no longer have to go up for prayer during difficult altar calls. You’ll be able to take communion without an ounce of shame. The weight of hypocrisy is great. Being free from it is like having a mountain lifted from our shoulders. You will have finally gotten that monkey off your back.
3. You will be able to use your story to inspire others
With the plank now removed from your eye, you will be able to see clearly enough to help others remove the speck from their eye, especially if it is the same type of speck you were struggling with. God can use your testimony to help others find freedom from pornography and masturbation. I’ve always found it difficult and lacking credibility to try and help someone overcome something that I am in the midst of dealing with. After all, if I’m not able to overcome it, why should anyone listen to me? That is why, for such a long time, I avoided talking about the sin of pornography within the materials I produced. But when God frees you from your affliction, you can now inspire others toward freedom. You can shine the light and lead the way. Paul reflected quite eloquently concerning this idea in 1 Corinthians, chapter 11, verse 1 in which he said:
Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.
When you are free, you now have license to quote this verse to others. Think of all the examples of those who have walked through fire and are now qualified to help others walk through it as well. Women who suffered from having an abortion can counsel women who are considering. Those who were freed from a gambling addiction can now speak into the lives of those who are struggling. Those who have gone through the prison system are the perfect candidates to talk sense into youth who are headed down the wrong path. And when you are freed from pornography, you are perfectly positioned to be used in the life of one who is currently ensnared.
4. You will be able to preserve your testimony
Our reputation is all some of us have. We’ve spent our lives building it. When we are caught in a scandal our testimony is demolished. Though God is quick to forgive, people usually aren’t. The stain of some sins can follow us our entire life. If our habitual sin is discovered, it may take some time to regain the trust of those of whom you are ministering. However, if you are able to find freedom you will avoid the judgment that comes with disgrace. You will have preserved your testimony. Hiding our sin is nothing to be proud of. But if God is able to free you from it, you should be able to put it in your rearview mirror. Your testimony is your story. It is your reputation. Freedom from pornography means that you can preserve it.
5. You will be able to find peace
True peace is heavily underrated. When we have peace, we have no worries. When you find freedom from pornography and masturbation you can finally rest. It is no longer warring in your mind. It is no longer battling for your time. You no longer hate yourself because of what you’ve become. You are free. I love the kind of peace God offers. Philippians, chapter 4, verse 7 describes it this way:
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
That is the kind of peace I want. And I know it is the kind of peace you want as well - a peace that transcends all understanding. That is the way to live, feeling as if we are in perfect harmony with the Spirit. No longer grieving him, but resting in him, allowing him to take control of all of our fear, anxiety and stress. Managing our pornographic tendencies can be stressful. Freedom = peace.
Your new normal may be more wonderful than you can imagine. But it doesn’t hurt to try and imagine the peace, freedom, confidence, and assurance that will come with it. It doesn’t hurt to imagine the improved relationships you will have with your spouse, significant other, other brothers and sisters in Christ, or your fellow mankind. Walking in step with the Holy Spirit is the goal of every Jesus follower, and it is Jesus’ desire that we would have a full and wonderful life on earth. He said in John, chapter 10, verse 10:
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
What might a full life look like? Freedom from the shackles of pornography and masturbation is the first step in finding out.