The following is an excerpt from, “Throw off Pornography”, the 4th book in the “Lord of My Life” series. You can download the complete book for free through Amazon Kindle, Apple Books or Barnes & Noble. You can also order the paperback version through the Amazon bookstore. Find direct links for all of these at ktfproductions.com under the store tab. Visit every week and receive weekly excerpts January through April of 2024.
WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU BACKSLIDE?
First, I want to strongly encourage you not to backslide. I want you to come to the place in your mind, spirit, and heart, where failure is not an option. Remember to focus on the 90 days. No more and no less. Keep your eyes on that prize. Do not let the goal of total freedom overwhelm you. Take each day as it comes and focus on success for that day alone. Every morning pray for protection. Make sure you are wearing the armor of God and that you are prepared for battle on a daily basis. However, in every battle, even with the help of the Holy Spirit, we can choose to lose. We have been granted free will. And we can give into our flesh. Matthew, chapter 26, verse 41 warns us:
“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
Though we may want to succeed, we may not. As I mentioned earlier, there will be good days and there will be difficult days. Even with all the safeguards and preparation in place we may still choose to fall. Our flesh is exceedingly weak. And our addiction is incredibly powerful. Though I encourage you to do everything you possibly can to stand in the face of temptation, failure is always a possibility. If you find yourself in that place of failure, I encourage you to gather yourself, repent, and try again. You will have to reset the clock and start back at day 1, but with the power of the Holy Spirit you can succeed. I know it will be difficult. Restarting is the last thing you will want to hear after the crushing blow of failure. Distance from God, distance from the challenge and distance from any form of light will sound very appealing. But don’t stay there.
When we fall, it is in our nature to wallow in our failure and to dive headfirst back into our sin. Believe me, I’ve been there. When we fall, especially after weeks or months of sobriety, the power of sin is supercharged. Do not fool yourself into believing you can dip your toe back into pornography and masturbation and bounce back unscathed. Unfortunately, Satan won’t let you off that easily. Falling is not simply going back to the drawing board. It is truly one step forward, two steps back. You are not back to where you started, you are back even further than where you first began. When you first began the 90 Day Challenge you wanted to succeed. You wanted to be free. Falling after a good faith effort to succeed may cause you to want to fall even further. You may begin to think that the task is impossible, that you were a fool to even attempt it to begin with and that you were a fool to give yourself false hope. You’ll be at your most vulnerable, and Satan will take advantage. Completing the 90 Day Challenge is difficult for any porn addict. But bouncing back after a good faith effort is even more difficult. After failure it is difficult to see clearly. It is difficult to connect to the Holy Spirit. And for the most part, you won’t want to.
I know that all sounds incredibly discouraging. But I don’t want to sugar coat it. Bouncing back from failure is really hard because we are prone to push God away. But I want to encourage you, and please take this to heart, do not allow yourself to push God away. And if you do, please do not let it be for an extended period of time. We need to be connected to the vine. Remember what Jesus said in John, chapter 15, verses 4-6?
Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.
We must remain connected to the vine. It is essential. Do not use your failure as a excuse to push God away. We need him, and even more so when we are vulnerable. I know that this is easier said than done. And if you are in that place, I know this isn’t something you want to hear. But take it from someone who has been there. Distance from God is not a place you want to stay.