The following is an excerpt from, “Throw off Pornography”, the 4th book in the “Lord of My Life” series. You can download the complete book for free through Amazon Kindle, Apple Books or Barnes & Noble. You can also order the paperback version through the Amazon bookstore. Find direct links for all of these at ktfproductions.com under the store tab. Visit every week and receive weekly excerpts January through April of 2024.
90 DAY CHALLENGE
Now to the meat of the matter. What steps should you take to free yourself from the grip of pornography and masturbation? For me, it was the "90 Day Challenge.” The 90 Day Challenge is exactly that: 90 days of abstinence from pornography and masturbation. This isn’t a new concept. In fact, if you google “90 day porn challenge”, or put it into a YouTube search, you’ll find a list of results. I first learned about it when I was watching a CBS News Report about the destructive nature of pornography. After hearing from over a dozen people who’d been ensnared by it, the report concluded with an interview of a young man who decided to free himself from it. I wish I could remember his name, but I didn’t write it down. What I do remember is that he was probably in his early 20s and was once addicted to pornography and masturbation. He was a heavy user indulging almost every day of the week, multiple times a day. It negatively affected his self-image, his thoughts about women and his efforts with dating and relationships. So, he decided to stop watching porn and to stop masturbating for 90 days. From the report there was no indication that he was a believer, an academic, or knew anything about the psychological effects of porn use. He was just someone who wanted to free himself. Achieving 90 days of abstinence set him on the road to freedom. As far as I know he is still porn free. At the end of his interview, he talked about the YouTube channel he created that highlights his journey. I was inspired by his story. He was able to free himself using his willpower alone. I applaud him for that accomplishment. If he was able to do it, I was confident that I could as well, especially with the added benefit of the Holy Spirit.
I love the idea of a 90 Day Challenge. Why? Because for me, though 90 days may seem long, it’s not impossible. 90 days is about 3 months. It is a finite amount of time. By attempting the 90 Day Challenge, I’m not committing to a lifetime of abstinence, though that is the goal. But, with this limited time span, I’m able to laser focus all my energy into 90 days. No more and no less. To me, that sounded doable. Studies show that it takes anywhere from 18-254 days to break a habit. For my porn addiction, 18 days was a joke. It is an absolutely implausible goal for success. For me, I know that after 18 days my desire for porn will not only remain with me, but it will be at a point where the flesh is raging with desire. And 254 days seemed impossible to achieve. Knowing my current record was only about 80 days, 254 days was unthinkable. But 90 days sounded like a reasonable goal. It was easy for me to believe that 90 days would challenge me but likely wouldn’t break me if I was fully committed. My guess is that you will be able to convince yourself of the same. I know it doesn’t sound easy, and I’m sure that it won’t be. But I hope it sounds possible. Because if you go into this believing that you can’t do 90 days, you’ll be sewing in your mind a self-fulfilling prophesy that will set you up for failure. 90 days, fully committed and with the help of the Holy Spirit is an accomplishable endeavor.
I also encourage you not to think beyond the 90 days. I’m the kind of person who likes to plan way ahead. I want to know what happens after 90 days. Will I be changed enough to continue for another 90 days? Will I be free? Is 90 days the “magic number”? Don’t let thoughts like these enter your mind. Fight them off as best you can. Focus only on the 90 days in front of you and take them one day at a time. Jesus reminds us in Matthew, chapter 6, verse 34:
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Thinking beyond the present can sidetrack us. A good analogy is jogging. I jog for exercise. I don’t do it because I like it, I do it because it is a good habit for me. When I run, I try not to think about how many miles are ahead, where the difficult bends in the road are or where there are steep inclines. The best thing for me to do is keep my head down and take one step at a time. I try to concentrate on the next landmark or the next patch of shade. I take the miles in bite-sized chunks. I try not to think about the entire length or how long it will take me to finish because that can be discouraging. Likewise, take the 90 Day Challenge one day at a time. Consider what Jesus said and worry only about today. Don’t worry about tomorrow, next week, next month or even next year. For tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Okay, so when should you start? This is a very personal question that only you can answer. All I can say is that you should start when you are ready. If you start before you are ready, before you are fully committed and before you are desperate for success, you will likely fail. As I mentioned earlier, you need to make sure that your whole heart is in it. So, if you really want to throw off pornography for good, you must commit. You must be all in. However, if you are committed and are ready to go all in, then I encourage you to start today. Today today? Yes today! For the addict, there is never a good day to start. You can always find an excuse as to why now is not the right time. But don’t let those excuses stop you. What do we say to unbelievers who haven’t yet taken the step of faith to follow Christ? “There is no better time than right now.” Why do we say that? Because it is true. We are humans. The longer we wait to do something the less likely it will happen. The longer we take to commit to something, the more time Satan has to snuff out our intentions. He will try to convince you that it can’t be done, that it’s okay for you to keep kicking the can down the road, or that you can find a way to live with the addiction. If you’ve ever told yourself that “you’ll change your evil ways one of these days” … Well, if you are ready, let today be that day.